I watch Disney’s Beauty and the Beast when I want to regress to age six. It brings back feelings of a simpler time. You see, the character of Belle proved extremely influential in my formative years. I identified with her because not only did her hair color match mine (which usually is the first source of attraction between a little girl and her corresponding Disney character or American Girl Doll), but she was no damsel. Belle is strong, smart, well-read, and she doesn’t settle for mediocrity in a lifestyle. She can see past the superficialities of others, and look deeper into the characters of those who would otherwise turn you away. She is a way better heroine than, say, Ariel. Ariel is a ditz. She sells her soul for a three-day chance at making out with some dude she saw once. What kind of roll-model is that??
Anyway, last night I was in the mood to watch Beauty and the Beast. As it was loading, Josh turns to me and says, “You should be Belle.” I figured he meant that I should be Belle for Halloween next year. But he meant as a job. He immediately searches Google for How To Become A Disney World Princess Performer. It was a joke until we saw that there are auditions in Florida next week. Plane tickets? $200.
They must hold these auditions fairly frequently. I don’t think I necessarily need to go next week. But what a story that would make! Imagine being in a room with a bunch of Princess Look-alikes. <<shudder>> It would probably be an extremely girly affair. I wonder, how many of those women are real actresses looking for real jobs? How many of them will be like me, a girl who slightly resembles a Disney character who decided to fly down to Florida for kicks and a tan? I’d totally hit up Typhoon Lagoon if I did this. Mmmm yeah.
I wonder too if it is a compliment to be compared to a cartoon character. I remember there was a guy in my college class who looked like Francis the Lady Bug from A Bug’s Life. Seriously. He had a small, round head with jet-black hair smattered across his forehead and beady, black eyes fringed with long eyelashes. It took me a while to place him, but I did it. If he ever wore a red coat with black spots it would seal the deal. But I don’t think that is a compliment.
On the flip side to this, I wonder if it is presumptuous of me to think I do like Belle. It is not exactly humble to say you look like the person named for her beauty. Then again, I think it is pretty harmless to notice that I have brown eyes and hair, which is really the only thing I have going in this comparison.
What would it be like working for Disney? It seems like working for The Man. If ever there as a ginormous, overbearing corporation, Disney would be it. And working at a theme park…ick. Hugging a bunch of sniffling kids every day and talking to everyone in a sickeningly sweet voice and wearing pounds of makeup and a big gown in the Florida heat…maybe this is just one of those jobs that would be cool for two weeks at most, like a taxi bike driver.
This is going to take some thought. I welcome your comments.
Learning to Whistle 
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